Roses are red, violets are blue, our Valentine’s cards are dark—and perfect for you! This Valentine’s Day, ditch the cheesy greetings. Avoid overdone and overly saccharine messages. Embrace the shadowy side of love with our 30 Dark-Humored Valentine’s Day Cards. Available now on www.thehausoflegends.com, these cards are designed to charm the mischief-makers. They woo the sarcastic romantics. They delight anyone who prefers their hearts with a twist of wit.
Starting at just $21.76 for a pack of 8 cards, these beautifully crafted designs feature the perfect blend of humor, darkness, and love. You are declaring your devotion with a tangled black heart. Or you are poking fun at the chaos of relationships. Either way, we have a card for you. It speaks your love language. Even if your language is fluent in sarcasm.
Here’s a sneak peek at what you can expect inside:
- “Love hurts. Luckily, I’m into pain. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
- “You’ve stolen my heart. Please return it before the warranty expires.”
- “This heart might look dead, but it’s still beating… just for you. Probably. Check again.”
- “Cupid missed, but the shrapnel hit me anyway. So here I am, hopelessly yours.”
These cards range from playful jabs at love’s chaos to heartfelt moments with a dark edge. They are the ultimate way to stand out. Make someone laugh or swoon this Valentine’s Day.
But wait—there’s more to love at The Haus of Legends! While you’re there, be sure to explore our Artistic Heart Collection. It features stunning, one-of-a-kind artistic designs. These designs are inspired by the complexities of love. With new creations added daily, there’s always something fresh to discover.
Whether you’re shopping for your partner or your best friend, The Haus of Legends has you covered. You can also find something for that delightfully complicated someone who’s been circling your heart. The Haus of Legends has everything you need to make this Valentine’s Day legendary.
Shop now and let the dark humor flow: www.thehausoflegends.com
Because love doesn’t have to be all sunshine and roses—sometimes it’s tangled wires, glowing hearts, and a little chaos. And that’s what makes it magical.
1. For the Cynical Romantic
Inside Message:
“Love hurts. Luckily, I’m into pain. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
2. For the Sarcastic Sweetheart
Inside Message:
“You’ve stolen my heart. Please return it before the warranty expires.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
3. For the Realist
Inside Message:
“Roses are red, violets are blue, love’s a battlefield… and I’ve got no armor left for you.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
4. For the Jaded Lover
Inside Message:
“This heart is a perfect metaphor for love: tangled, dark, and ready to implode. But hey, at least we’re in it together!”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
5. For the Drama Lover
Inside Message:
“My love for you burns brighter than the tiny heart inside this black abyss. Just don’t ask where the exit is.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
6. For the Commitaphobe
Inside Message:
“This heart might look sturdy, but don’t get too comfortable—it’s on a timer.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
7. For the Overly Honest Valentine
Inside Message:
“Here’s my heart—wrapped in chaos and a little sarcasm. Handle with care (or don’t). Happy Valentine’s Day.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
8. For the Cynic Turned Softie
Inside Message:
“I don’t believe in soulmates, but if I did… you’d be tolerable enough to be mine. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
9. For the Playfully Morbid
Inside Message:
“This heart may look dead, but it’s still beating… just for you. Probably. Check again.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
10. For the Eternal Flame
Inside Message:
“Our love is eternal… like the dark void inside this heart. No escape. Ever. Love you!”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
11. For a Playful, Sarcastic Vibe
Inside Message:
“You’ve got my heart tangled up like a bad set of holiday lights. Don’t pull too hard—you might break it. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
12. For a Deeply Romantic Twist with a Dark Humor Edge
Inside Message:
“Even in the darkest corners of my soul, your love shines brighter than anything else. This chaotic heart? It beats only for you.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
13. For a Close Friend
Inside Message:
“You know my heart is a hot mess, but you’ve somehow managed to survive it. Thanks for putting up with me. Happy Valentine’s Day, you legend!”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
14. For a Partner with a Love for the Macabre
Inside Message:
“This black heart reflects my love for you: deep, mysterious, and maybe a little dangerous. But hey, who needs sunshine when we’ve got shadows?”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
15. For a Long-Term Relationship
Inside Message:
“Over the years, we’ve been through it all—light, dark, and everything in between. This Valentine’s Day, let’s embrace the chaos… together.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
16. For a New Romance
Inside Message:
“My heart might look dark and complicated, but don’t worry—it’s just my aesthetic. I promise it’s all yours… for now.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
17. For a Sarcastic, Low-Key Valentine
Inside Message:
“This card cost $5. The effort I put into picking it? Priceless. Don’t spend it all in one place. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
18. For a Cheeky, Romantic Partner
Inside Message:
“They say love is complicated… but it’s not. It’s just you, me, and this mildly haunted heart of mine. Let’s keep it weird.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
19. For Someone Who Shares Your Humor
Inside Message:
“I’d let you have my heart, but it’s mostly just wires and sarcasm at this point. Hope that works for you. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
20. For a Creative Soulmate
Inside Message:
“This heart is my latest masterpiece: tangled, chaotic, and a little unhinged. Just like us. Happy Valentine’s Day, my muse.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
21. For the Sarcastic but Sweet Romantic
Inside Message:
“My heart might look like it’s been through a war, but it’s still beating for you. Plus, it’s fireproof now. Happy Valentine’s Day, my favorite disaster.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
22. For the Deeply Romantic with a Twist
Inside Message:
“In a world full of chaos, you’re the light glowing inside my tangled heart. Happy Valentine’s Day to the one who makes my darkness beautiful.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
23. For a Playful Friendship
Inside Message:
“Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart’s a mess, but at least I have you. Thanks for tolerating my nonsense. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
24. For the Partner Who Gets You
Inside Message:
“This heart represents my love for you: dark, dramatic, and totally extra. Basically, it’s perfect. Happy Valentine’s Day, my chaos partner!”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
25. For the Macabre Romantic
Inside Message:
“True love isn’t sunshine and rainbows; it’s surviving the storm together. You’re the reason this twisted heart keeps going. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
26. For a Partner with Dark Humor
Inside Message:
“Cupid missed, but the shrapnel hit me anyway. So here I am, hopelessly yours. Happy Valentine’s Day—you lucky devil.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
27. For Someone Who Shares Your Chaos
Inside Message:
“We’re a beautiful mess, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’ve got my heart (wires, sparks, and all). Happy Valentine’s Day, my perfect disaster.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
28. For a New Romance with Playful Mystery
Inside Message:
“This dark heart comes with a lifetime of surprises—mostly good, I think. Let’s find out together. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
29. For the Cheeky but Sweet Romantic
Inside Message:
“Sure, my heart’s a tangled mess, but it’s all yours now. No refunds, no exchanges. Happy Valentine’s Day—you’re stuck with me.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
30. For the Artistically Inspired Lover
Inside Message:
“You’re the muse who turned my chaos into art. My heart may be complicated, but it’s yours to hold. Happy Valentine’s Day, my masterpiece.”
- Measuring at 4.25” x 5.5”,
- Available in 8-packs, 16-packs, and 24-packs
- .: One size: 4.25″ x 5.5” (10.8 x 13.9 cm)
.: Matte finish
.: Matching white envelopes included
